You'll Crack Your Head Open!

If you have any kind of food intolerances, you should really look at this site www.topsecretrecipes.com .

There are so many great free recipes there, as well as pay-for recipes (only 79 cents each).  I get recipes there because my kids and I can’t eat gluten.   But everytime I go there, it makes me think of people with other food intolerances who may be able to replicate food that they normally can’t have.

If you’ve got soy or corn intolerances you should definitely browse through the free recipes on that site.   Those can be so hard to deal with because of all the soy and corn used in just about everything.

I had to avoid soy for about a month once and I was shocked at how much I couldn’t eat.  That was way more inconvenient and frustrating than avoiding gluten has ever been.   Soy is apparently the go-to oil in food manufacturing.  It’s everywhere.

Then there’s corn.  Specifically high fructose corn syrup.  It’s what they use to sweeten just about everything.  Every time I see a Top Secret Recipe that lists corn syrup as an ingredient, especially in drinks, it makes me think of how easy it would probably be to substitute simple syrup and use that instead.

Simple syrup is made by boiling water, disolving in sugar and boiling it to the soft-ball stage.   I’ve seen varied recipes from 1 part sugar to two parts water, to equal parts of sugar and water.   Once it cools, you can refrigerate it.

Here are some more ideas.

- Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups – If you’ve got a peanut allergy, you could make these with another type of nut butter or soynut butter, or anything else really.

- Nabisco Cheese Nips – Totally on my list as one of the next things to try.  I’ve got two preschoolers who are both gluten intolerant.  Before we found that out, they were eating just as many goldfish crackers as every other kid.   The lack of GF cheese crackers was an adjustment.   Especially at first when they were somewhere like church or preschool where other kids are eating them as the class snack.

- Girl Scout Cookies – The Thin Mints recipe is free (!!), the shortbread you have to pay for.   It might take some experimenting with some of the ingredients, but I’d bet you’d be able to create your own GF girl scout cookie clones.

- Twinkie Filling (new and improved) – The cake recipe isn’t on there, but the filling is.

- Jack in the Box Oreo Cookie Shake – K-Too’s by www.kinnikinnick.com are pre-made GF oreo-type cookies.   I’m not as familiar with dairy intolerance, but you could probably make a great shake out of Rice Dream ice cream.

- Miracle Whip – Just in case you ever wondered what exactly Miracle Whip is.

- Oreo Cookies – Worth the look just for the cream filling alone.   There’s a little bit of granulated sugar to give the very slightly gritty finish to the cream filling.

- Olive Garden’s Pasta e Fagioli – All you’d need to do is sub some GF pasta, such as Tinkyada, and you’re there.

For more Works for Me Wednesday ideas – Go to Rocks in My Dryer – http://rocksinmydryer.typepad.com/shannon/2007/06/works-for-me-ba.html

(Note to self – figure out how to do links better.) 

I’ve had varied luck with gluten-free cake.   Some of the chocolate cakes are good.   Gluten-Free Pantry’s Angel Food Cake is, frankly, perfect.  But I haven’t been able to find a yellow or white cake mix that I really like.   Some have a pretty good texture, but not quite there on flavor.  Others have a good flavor, but have a texture problem.  Some even have a weird aftertaste.

Not long after I went gluten-free, I started really paying attention to the site Top Secret Recipes http://topsecretrecipes.com .  I’ve been subscribed there for years.  Mostly it was just interesting to get the recipes to see what the secret was, but I never tried making anything.

After I went gluten-free, that site gained new meaning for me.  My first attempt at a recipe from that site was Nabisco Honey Maid Graham Crackers.   It’s one of many Free recipes that are on that site.  I’ll blog about that another time, but if you want to see how I modified it, it’s at Top Secret Recipes, under the comments for that recipe.  http://www.topsecretrecipes.com/recipedetail.asp?sessionid=&login=yes&id=70&page=

The graham crackers are one of many free recipes on Top Secret Recipes.

Most of the recipes on Top Secret Recipes you have to purchase.  Stay with me here…  It’s ONLY 79 cents.  It’s well worth it.   With all the work that Todd Wilbur puts into cloning these recipes, 79 cents is a bargain.

Today, I bought the recipe for Duncan Hines Moist Deluxe Yellow Cake Mix.

Can I just say Oh. My. God.

It’s exactly perfect.

Exactly. Perfect.

I can’t even believe it.

Apparently the magic of the soft, pillowy texture isn’t in the wheat flour.  It’s somewhere else in either the rest of the ingredients, or the method, that gives you that specific Moist Deluxe magic.

The only thing I modified was the flour, and I added xanthan gum.  Everything else was just verified gluten-free ingredients.   For the three cups of cake flour I used my favorite mix of gluten-free flour, which is on page 6 of Annalise Roberts’ book – Gluten-Free Baking Classics.

For three cups you need:

2 cups Extra Finely Ground Rice Flour (made by Authentic Foods)

2/3 cup Potato Starch (not potato flour)

1/3 cup Tapioca Flour (tapioca starch is the same thing in this case)

3/4 teaspoon xanthan gum

Mix all of this together thoroughly.  I use a whisk to get it all mixed.

Other than that, follow the recipe as directed.

Last Bite.

1.  Feeling healthy.   I never realized how sick I really was until after I went GF.   And I knew I was sick.  90% of the symptoms that I know now are gluten-related I never would have suspected.  And the mood issues -  I just thought the depression, irritability, anxiety, insomnia, general bitchiness etc. were just aspects of my charming personality.

2.  My kids are happy and healthy.  I’m so glad I figured all of this out for their sakes.  Their lives will be so much happier knowing about this.  They may go in and out of remission (hopefully) throughout their lives, but they will always know that they are prone to it.  They won’t have years of mystery health problems that limit their lives.

3.  The support and understanding of my family and friends.   Everyone has been great about the details and oddness of all of this.   Nobody makes me feel weird or out of place about it.  I love it when I try a new GF recipe and they like it as much as I do.

4.  Bonus weight loss.  I was a little bit overweight before I went gluten-free.   I lost 30 pounds within six months of being on the GF diet with no additional diet or exercise.  WooHoo!

5.  I feel no guilt at all eating “bad” food.  If I can’t eat gluten, I’m going to eat ice cream, chocolate, fried food and junk food to my hearts content, thankyouverymuch.    When I was losing the weight initially, it was fun to sit there eating a dish of ice cream and tell my husband that I lost another three pounds that week.  Heeheehee…

6.  All the good GF food out there that makes life so much easier.  There are only a couple things that I can’t either buy or successfully replicate (so far anyway) – cheese crackers and french bread.   Other than that I can eat just about anything -  there is GF pizza, pasta, bread, donuts, cookies, crackers, etc.

7.  All the restaurants that have gluten-free menus – Outback, Pei Wei and PF Changs have GF menus at every restaurant.   Lots of places have GF menus online that you can print out and bring with you.

8.  Kraft, McCormick, Con-Agra and Frito-Lay.   You’d be shocked at the percentage of foods in the average grocery store that are made by these companies.   They all clearly and thoroughly label gluten.   If there is gluten in it, or a chance of second-hand gluten, they label it.   If there is no gluten listed, I know it’s safe to eat and I don’t have to give it another thought.

9.  Online gluten-free statements and lists.  Most companies and restaurants have information on the gluten status of their products and recipes.

10.  It’s actually kind of fun to hunt down gluten-free recipes or products.   It’s very rare for me to run into something that I can’t make or find anymore.

11.  Trying things that aren’t good or recipes that don’t turn out is actually pretty funny.   Gluten-free baking brings a whole new level to the word “inedible”.   A GF friend of mine put unsuccessful bread crumbs out once that the birds and squirrels wouldn’t even eat.  Now that’s comedy.

12.  I’ve only got about a dozen specialty products that I buy on a regular basis.  Other than that, it’s just regular food.

13.   I rarely catch colds or flus anymore, and don’t get allergies anymore.   My kids don’t get sick as often either.   Our immune systems are no longer pre-occupied with the perceived threat of gluten, so it can fight off actual illnesses.

So that’s the upside.  The upside far outweighs the downside.  The downside is mostly irritations that usually don’t bug me, but there are just those days when they do.

99.997% of the time I don’t mind being gluten-free, but sometimes it’s just a big old friggin, endless PITA.   Inspired by my SIL, who wrote the 13 things she hates about her husband being deployed to Iraq, I thought I’d join in.

1.  Second-hand gluten.  Basically akin to cross contamination and raw chicken.  You can’t just pick croutons off a salad or take the bun off the burger.   Just the residue is more than enough to cause a reaction.  My husband can’t even kiss me if he’s eaten gluten.   If it wasn’t for this part, being gluten-free would be like a walk in the park.

2.  Loss of spontenaity.  Can’t just throw the kids in the car and take off for the day.  In order to go somewhere for the day, I have to cook at least two meals and gather snacks together for me and the kids.  No drive-thru for us.

3.  When someone makes something gluten-free especially with me in mind, and they don’t know about item #1.   It means so much to me when someone goes out of their way, but then I have to decide whether to (a) hurt their feelings or (b) be sick for days.   Luckily, my family knows all about #1, so I don’t run into this much.

4.  My reactions to second-hand gluten.  Let’s see if I can remember them all - painful electric-shock-type nerve pain to the point I can barely walk, nightmares, nighttime insomnia mixed with daytime exhaustion, depression, anxiety, irritability, stomach pain, IBS-D and/or IBS-C, painful rashes, itchy ears and scalp, loss of balance, slurred speech (if it sounds like I’m drunk at 2 in the afternoon, I’m not – I promise), memory and concentration problems, brain fog, migraines and hair loss.   There are over 200 reported reactions to gluten – those are just mine.

5. My daughter’s gluten reaction.  ADHD-type mood reactions, tummy aches, clinginess, loudness, meanness, mood swings.   We just did a gluten challenge on her (to determine if she was still having reactions – kids sometimes go through periods of remission that can last years) and the results are still very FRESH in my mind.

6.  My son’s gluten reaction.  Autistic-type personality before diagnosis.  After just a few weeks, he became a fun, goofy, lovey-dovey little boy.  We haven’t done a gluten challenge on him and probably won’t for another year or so when he’s a little older.

7.  Having to cook all the time.   Don’t get me wrong, I love that there are so many great products, but I’d love to be able to give my kids some frozen chicken nuggets or go through a drive through for some good, old-fashioned mindless eating once in a while.

8.  Having to verify products.  You know that 1-800 number on the back of products?  Well, that’s for people like me.  I’ve been known to call those numbers while grocery shopping.

9.  Products that sometimes ARE gluten-free and sometimes AREN’T, but won’t change their label to reflect that.  Eating Hidden Valley Ranch is like playing russian roulette.

10.  Products that insist they ARE gluten-free, but aren’t.   Having celiac is like being a canary in a coal mine.  You can’t sneak gluten past us.  Wish ya could.  Really do.  Life would be so much easier.

11.  Being very, very, VERY shy (in real life) and having to explain all this stuff to a waiter, manager, kitchen staff, etc. in order to eat out in a restaurant.   Other than restaurants who have gluten-free menus already or restaurants that are known to know about the GF diet, or pre-arranged food by hotels we’ve stayed at, I have only eaten out twice since I was diagnosed a year and a half ago.  I MUST get over this.

12.  Having the manager at a restaurant roll their eyes and glare at me when I tried to do #11.   That happened the very first time I went out after diagnosis.  That is the biggest reason I still have such a hard time going out.

13.  Pretending like it’s always easy.   For the most part it’s easy because the alternative is such a horrible way to live.  But then again, there are those days when it’s hard to have to figure everything out, plan for everything (including “spontenaity”), avoid second-hand gluten, etc. with a smile plastered on my face.

I’m very lucky to have such supportive and well-informed family and friends.   I don’t want them to think that this is hard.  It just sometimes is.  The upside is that every single thing on this list is all worth it 100x over to not feel like #4 every minute of every day for the rest of my life.  And my kids not having to feel like #5 and #6?  I’m truly blessed.

I’ve been in an unnecessary funk lately, so this carnival is coming at a perfect time.

Here’s my list.

1.  God.  For His patience, His faithfulness, His kindness and His love.

2.  My husband.  For his hard work and dedication to his family.  For loving me.

3.  My kids.  They are growing out of their difficult phases, so it’s getting much more calm around here. 

4.  My friends.  Without them, the world just wouldn’t be the same.

5.  My family.

6.  My health.  After years of being sick, I’m so grateful that I’m healthy now.

7.  My home.  I love it here.

8.  The internet.  It has a way of making the world bigger AND smaller at the same time.

9.  Our wireless internet adapters.

10.  My breadmaker.  A gluten-free mom’s best friend.

11.  Haagan Dazs.

12.  Tivo.  bloop-BLOOP-BLOOP.

13.  Huggies Overnights diapers.   My son is not wanting to potty train and holds it like a camel.

Yay!  I made it to 13!

Here’s our list of favorite gluten-free products.  I’m going to give this posting a picture thing a shot here.

Pamela’s Amazing Wheat Free Bread Mix – http://www.pamelasproducts.com/

(Hey look!  I did it!)

This bread is the best!  It tastes a lot like regular wheat bread.  It also has that soft, springy texture and a neutral flavor.   We’ve found other bread that we like, but most have an unusual flavor that doesn’t mix well with certain things (peanut butter sandwiches for example).   This one works great with everything.   I even make hamburger buns out of it.

Pamela’s Ultimate Baking and Pancake Mix http://www.pamelasproducts.com/

I make pancakes out of this once a week or so.  They taste great.  They’ve got almond meal in them too, which gives a nice flavor.  I use it as a flour mix in a few of my recipes too.

Bi-Aglut Pasta – http://www.biaglut.com/ENG/default.aspx

Gluten-free pasta made in Italy.  This tastes just like regular gluteny pasta.  Last Christmas Hubby made goulash for the family dinner and everyone thought that I was eating something different.  But the whole meal was gluten-free.  Anything that can fool gluten eaters is on my must-have list.   Tinkyada pasta is very good, but my husband doesn’t like it.  So rather than mess with making two types of pasta (and risking the resulting problems for me and the kids), we use Bi-Aglut and everyone is happy.

Ener-G Wheat-Free Crackers – http://www.ener-g.com/

I buy these by the case.  They are unsalted and kind of remind me of a combination between a Carr’s Water Cracker and an unsalted saltine.   Unlike many GF crackers, these stay in one piece and don’t fall apart when you’re trying to eat them.

Sunstart Coconut Cookies – http://www.sunstartbakery.com/home.cfm

These are the best.  They have a toasted coconut flavor.  They remind me so much of Girl Scout Samoas.  I was thinking of trying to put some chocolate and caramel on them, but I like them so much as they are that I haven’t tried it yet.

Kinnikinnick – Montana’s Chocolate Chip Cookies – http://www.kinnikinnick.com/

The kids love these.  They call the health food store where we get these The Cookie Store.

Kinnikinnick – Chocolate Dipped Donuts – http://www.kinnikinnick.com

The chocolate coating tastes exactly like the the chocolate coating on every chocolate donut I ever had pre-gluten-free.  The donut is more like a dense cake donut and not the raised kind that I used to get, but the chocolate coating makes it all worth it.

Well, that’s about it for our major gluten-free products.   We have others that we get occasionally.  These are the things that are almost always in our pantry though.   Just about everything else is mainstream products.

I wasn’t planning on this blog being a “gluten-free” driven blog.   But I’ve seen so many people with blogs who are doing the gluten-free diet.  Some just starting out too.   I know how hard it can be at first, especially if you don’t know anyone who has been through it too.

I’ve been gluten-free for about a year and a half, so even though I’m not totally a veteran, I’ve been through the initial phase of decontaminating the kitchen, finding out what products are worth their weight in gold and which products the dog won’t even eat.

Being a junk food junkie AND having two pre-schoolers, I think I’ll start off with a list of my favorite mainstream gluten-free junk food.

Cool Ranch Doritos (not classic Nacho – it has wheat starch)

Cheetos

Lays Stax (not Pringles)

Fritos

Easy Cheese (the spray cheese – not the bacon kind though)

Mission Tortilla Chips

Salsa

M&M’s  – all but the crispy kind

Most See’s Candy (http://www.kintera.org/site/pp.asp?c=ewK0LjP7E&b=34870)

Plain Hershey’s Kisses

Popsicles

Peanut Butter

Most sodas

Fruity Pebbles

Cocoa Pebbles

Remember to ALWAYS (!!) read labels and verify products for yourself.   Companies can reformulate products at any time.  Sometimes they add gluten for whatever reason.   Up until a few years ago Kellogg’s Corn Pops were gluten-free.  Then all of a sudden they weren’t.

Well, I must say that I’m quite proud of myself.  I completed my card file for my S.H.E. cleaning system and day 1 was a huge success.

The key to this system for me is breaking things down into their smallest tasks.  Instead of saying – Wash all the windows in the family room, which will send me into a perfectionistic fit, dragging out the toothbrushes and mini-vac, - I break it down into much, much smaller chunks and assign a frequency–

Wipe down windowsills.  (Weekly)

Clean window tracks.   (Quarterly)

Windex insides of windows.  (Weekly)

Windex outsides of windows.  (Monthly)

Wipe down window shades. (Quarterly)

Most of these jobs will take me less than five minutes, which works really well for me.  I usually wouldn’t even start to clean the windows because I know how I am with such things.  I need it to be perfect or I get frustrated and give up after expending a lot of energy trying to do it perfectly.   Which puts me back into wanting to just avoid the whole thing until we’ve got company coming and I need to crisis clean.  Not fun at all.

When I write down every little job, and organize them according to how often they should be done, it’s amazing how little needs to be done every day.  Add a couple weekly, monthly and quarterly cards a day, and my house gets detail cleaned from top to bottom every three months.

Today I was on a roll, so once I got all my cards done for the day, I went into the cards for the next few days and did a few more chores.  On those days, I’ll end up not having as much to do, so I can relax or if I’m in a cleaning mood, go forward a few days and pick a couple additional things to do.

Now for the vanity part.  I’m gluten-intolerant, which is very much like celiac (google).  I’m really sensitive and will react to things that other celiacs don’t react to.  I have to be very careful of shampoos, cosmetics, etc.  As long as it doesn’t get into my mouth it’s fine, but that’s easier said than done.  For example, if I use a shampoo with wheat (gluten) in it, and later that day absent-mindedly push my hair behind my ears, if I then eat something with my hands without washing them first, that’s more than enough for me to get a reaction.   So rather than deal with that, I strictly avoid any products with gluten in them.  Just makes my life easier.

But my skin has been looking awful.  It looks like I’ve been working outside for months on end.   It’s totally beyond masks or super-hydrating moisturizers.  Putting on moisturizer has been a joke.  It’s like a layer of hardpack soil that doesn’t even want to soak anything up.  Seriously.

So I’ve been hearing about the home microdermabrasion kits, so I got one at Target.  Even though it had wheat germ oil (gluten) in it.

I’m kind of ashamed of myself for putting my looks above my health.  First of all, it’s so not like me.  I’ve never been much of a girly-girl, but after my run-in with a close-up mirror, I’ve been distressed about my skin, so I just went ahead and risked it.  I was really careful to keep my mouth strategically closed and not get the cream anywhere near my mouth or on anything else in my bathroom, put the washcloth directly into the laundry.     It’s been a couple hours now and no reaction, so I think I’m in the clear.

My skin looks really good too.  Put on moisturizer and it absorbed like it was supposed to.   I’m not going to use this as often as they suggest because of the gluten in it, but knowing that it works is nice to know.

Today, I’m taking my kids to our local hourly drop-in babysitting center.  I take them there once every week or two so I can get some quiet shopping and errand running time.   It also ends up being much cheaper than taking them with me on big errand days, what with the bribes and all.

We just got back from a camping trip a few days ago, so there was no mommy time to be had.  My kids also do much better with some time away from each other (and me).   They usually get along really well, but they both have their limits.   We’ve all pretty much hit it.

I might even go a couple towns over where the REAL shopping is and have some fun at the kitchen store.   Definitely have to go grocery shopping though.  All I have left for dinner is stuff for cheesesteaks (other than the cheese) on some questionable buns.   I meant to make out a menu for the week, but I’m just going to have to wing it.

I’m also going to get my stuff to start the Sidetracked Home Executive cleaning and organizational system.   I did it for a while a few years ago.  I think it’s the one that has worked the best for me of the systems I’ve tried.   I tried Flylady, but I couldn’t handle the self-imposed guilt.  When I feel guilty, I avoid the whole situation.   If I’m feeling avoidant, it’s much easier and less guilt-inducing to avoid the box of cards.

Well, time to go wrangle the children.

We just moved into our new house in February.  Not long after that, we noticed that the pool was a favorite watering hole for big frigging spiders.   They climb down the grout lines.

Unlike most people, I’m not scared of spiders persay.  They give me the heebie-jeebies because I don’t want one ON me, but I don’t find them scary.

These spiders kinda freak me out though.  They’re huge.  I’m not kidding.  I swear one day they’re going to organize a posse and take the dog hostage.

My husband discovered that they can also float in the pool, alive, for days.   The first time he found one, he decided to wait a few days before fishing it out, only to discover that it was still alive.  <<<shudder>>>

Last week when my in-laws were over, my husband had a floating pool spider he wanted to show off to his mom.  (Yea, we’ve gotten a little weird about this.  We’re like people who have snakes and offer to let you feed them.)

So anyway, he showed it to her and then scooped it up with the pool net so that he could smoosh it.  Well he put the pool net down the wrong way and the spider j-j-jumped up out of the net into the pool, r-ran across the water (!!!), went up a grout line and back into the bushes.

I was still reasonably okay until I found out they can jump.   And run on water.

I can pretty much guarantee that it won’t be long until I freak out when I see a spider.    Although this is the first time I’ve lived anywhere in this area where there weren’t lots of black widows.  Maybe the pool spiders eat them.  Hmm…