You'll Crack Your Head Open!

My 5yo daughter has been in Kindergarten for two and a half weeks.  It has not been easy.   I am stunned at how much pressure is put on these kids from the minute they start the first day.  Writing has to be in the right form.  My daughter knew how to write her name, but she wasn’t using the D’Nalian (sp?) alphabet, so it wasn’t right and they made her do it over.  It got to the point where she was refusing to even try.  And this was the third day of kindergarten.   When I had her practice before school on the fourth day, she burst into tears.   She was just so frustrated.

Now we’re hearing that she’s “inattentive”.   I don’t buy it.  I think they are putting too much pressure on her and now she’s withdrawing from it.

I was thinking that maybe it was just her.  Maybe she’s just not ready.  I had no idea kindergarten was going to be this academic.  I thought it started out easy and worked up to academic.  But not this.  This is how I remember first grade being.

So I started to do some looking online to see if any other parents were feeling like there was too much pressure on their child.  I was about ready to go toe-to-toe with those teachers.

Apparently, it’s not the teachers.  It’s a nationwide situation, and has been for a while.   Here is some interesting reading.

Kindergarten or Kindergrind? – 2005 – CBSNews

Pressure on Youngsters Starts in Kindergarten; Child Readiness an Issue - 2005 – Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.

Preserving Kindergarten in a High Stakes Environment - 1999 – Harvard Education Letter

The Misguided Trend of Delaying Kindergarten - 2004 – The Seattle Times

So in many kindergarten classrooms, you’ve got kids who are 5, kids who are 6 and kids who are still only 4 because they make the cutoff date, which is usually in December.

In my daughter’s class, there is one girl who can write and spell as well as I did in second grade.  She writes whole papers worth of stuff.   I saw two whole pages.  I thought that she was just smart.   As tall as she is though, I wonder if she might be closer to 6 than 5.

When we bought this house one of the reasons we bought it was that the local public elementary school was one of the highest rated in the state.

Highest rated.   As in ratings.  As in tests.  So this kindergarten really is exactly the type of kindergarten that these articles are about.

I don’t know about this…

Of course I want my daughter to do well in school, get a good education and go to college.  But not if this is the price.

I spent a lot of years thinking that I was going to homeschool.  I wanted my kids to be able to get ahead academically.  Most of the public schools where we grew up were mediocre at best.   The salutatorian of our high school class wasn’t able to handle college.  None of us got a good education, and very few went on to get a degree, although a few did.  There was a lot of “social advancement” and a lot of kids slipped through the cracks.

I wanted my kids to be able to come the end of their high school years with the choices that a good education brings you.   Whether they wanted to go straight into the job market or go to college, I wanted it to be their choice.

We’ve been lucky that in the places we’ve lived since we’ve been married, that the schools have had good reputations and good ratings.  So the idea of homeschool fell by the wayside.  According to all that we read, the schools were highly interested in academics.  Which was exactly what we wanted to hear.

I had no idea.

Now I’m wondering if I should start looking into homeschooling just so my daughter can get out of the pressure cooker.

I don’t know what I should do though.  Because if I do homeschooling, there’s no turning back.  If this is what kindergarten is now, I have no idea what first grade will be like.  I’m sure whatever homeschooling program I do would end up with her being “behind” as far as this school is concerned.

Part of me wonders if I should get some homeschool-type programs to do in addition to what they’re doing in kindergarten.  To get her up to speed with what they’re expecting of the kids.

But with all they’re expecting of them in a three hour day, my mommy instincts just want her to have fun and play.  I don’t want her to do more school.

I’m on the fence with a lot of stuff right now.  Do I go back to work and not be able to be available to my kids, especially my daughter right now?  Do I tighten up our budget even more and focus on getting her up to speed?

My husband had to repeat kindergarten.  His cousin’s son also had a hard time in Kindergarten and we just heard tonight that he isn’t doing well adjusting to a full day of first grade this year.

My husband says that maybe she’ll end up being held back too.  But if she’s really not ready, I’d rather pull her out sooner rather than later.  I don’t want to see her struggle and fail, struggle and fail, struggle and fail all year only to see her be told that she still didn’t do it well enough.

I never thought I’d be worried about all of this.  It’s not even September yet.

I was tagged by Gluten A Go Go for a meme.  I just need to tell eight things about myself.

1.  My husband and I dated off and on in high school, then went our seperate ways.  We met again at our 10-year high school reunion.  We’ve been together ever since.

2.  I wanted to be a mom of many.  I wanted four or five kids.  Then I got sick.  Once we figured out what was wrong with me and I started feeling better, I decided the two we have are enough.  Sometimes I still want more.

3.  I’ve been a Christian for almost three years.   I finally jumped, He caught me, and I’ve never looked back.

4.   I worked crew on a movie.  Starring the guy from Airplane and the brunette woman from thirty-something.  The back of my head even got some screen time.

5.  If there’s ever a cure for celiac, I’m diving headfirst into a bucket of KFC.  Then I’m not cooking for a month.  At least.

6.  I have a 120-pound “labrador retriever”.   The vet says there is no way he’s just a lab. and he must be part something else.  We’re thinking horse.

7.  I don’t have a permanent favorite color.  When we got married my favorite color was purple.   I’m coming out of an orange phase.  Not sure what I’d say my favorite color is now.

8.  I love to sing.  I’m pretty good at it.  Not American Idol good.  Just not embarassing myself on karaoke night good.  I have absolutely NO stage presence whatsoever.  When I go to sing I look like someone forced me to do it.  Even though I’m enjoying myself immensely.

I was tagged by my SIL Shannon for a meme weeks ago.  I’ve got a couple other tags in line now too.   I got stumped on this one, but I’ve been pondering, so here goes.

Here are the rules:

1. You have to post these rules before you give the facts.
2. Players, you must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of their middle name. If you don’t have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had.
3. When you are tagged you need to write your own blog-post containing your own middle name game facts.
4. At the end of your blog-post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag.
5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

My middle name is Renee:

R – Reasonably responsible.  I’ve just started being frugal after SO NOT being frugal.  At all.  So I couldn’t make myself just say Responsible.  But I’ve been doing really well with it, so I’ll claim to be reasonably responsible for now.

E – Entertaining.  In real life, I’m somewhat shy, but most people think I’m funny.  So I break the ice that way.   If I’m in a social situation and I can get a laugh, I feel much more comfortable.  My husband doesn’t think I’m funny at all.  Which I find hilarious.

N – Nice.  Just being nice is so important.  If at the end of my life people remember me as being nice, I’d be happy.  Btw, nice does not equal being overly agreeable, apushover or wishy-washy.  It’s being respectful of another person’s opinions and feelings, whether you agree with them or not.

E -  Education.   I’m not much for book learnin’.  But I’m a big time information junkie.

E – Essayist.  This E is sponsored by thesaurus.reference.com .   Blog entries are kind of like essays right?

Now I have to tag one person for each letter of my middle name – DeeDee ,  SarahK, Mrs. Pear, SheltieGirl and Sandy.

I used to be a medical transcriptionist.  I did it for about five years.  I stopped in 2000 because I got married and my husband made enough for us to live on.

Now, his industry has taken a down-turn and things are getting cut back.   It will probably pick back up again in six months or a year, but it’s going to be nearly impossible to live on his income during that time.

My daughter is in Kindergarten now, and my son should be in preschool, but we can’t afford it.  If I can get some work, I’d be able to not only take up the slack in our budget, but we’d be able to afford to put our son in preschool too.   So that would be a few uninterupted hours of work that I could do.

I already checked with our city and it would be about $85 for me to get a business license.

I literally JUST gave away my transcribers (the tape player/footpedal machines) like six months ago.  Most places are using digital, but I’m almost positive that one of my old clients is still using tapes.  He was extremely resistant to change.  Still used Wordstar.  None of that new-fangled Wordperfect or Word for him.  Wordstar worked just fine.  Which was one of the reasons I worked for him.  I was willing to do the work how he wanted it done.  Most other MT’s would try to push him into using the newer stuff.   He may have updated, but I kinda doubt it.   Once I get my business license, that’s the first place I’m going to call.   If they need me and they’re still using tapes, I’ll get a tape transcriber first.  If not I’ll get a digital system first.  I can’t afford both right now.

Since I’m wanting to just do this to get us through the next year or so, I really just want to subcontract.  Which is helping MTs who have overflow work, or on sick days or during vacations.  If I had my own clients, I’d be stuck.  When I had my own clients, it was almost impossible for me to find enough reliable subcontractors for me to even take a single day off.   Even on the weekends.  I was always slammed with work.

So that’s what I’ve been researching and thinking about.

And if there’s anyone out there who does MT (or knows an overworked one) and needs a subcontractor, let me know.

As if I haven’t talked enough about this subject, I came across something this week that really underlines my advice that you have to read all labels and verify absolutely everything.

Act II Movie Theater Butter Popcorn.

What types of food allergens would you think would be in popcorn?

Milk?  Of course.  Butter is in the dairy group.  It says butter right on the label.  That’s an easy one.

Eggs?  Hmmm…  Well, okay…  I guess maybe to make the flavor stick?  It’s probably something like that.

How about fish?   Oh yes.  I said fish.   F-i-s-h.  Fish.  In popcorn.  Fish.

I figured that this must have been a misprint, which I thought was hilarious.   I mean, what could be worse than fish listed as an allergen in popcorn?

I decided to contact the manufacturer, ConAgra, to find out what the deal was – misprint?  Or just plain gross?  I received this nice reply from Rose -

August 23, 2007Dear Nancy,Your communication concerning our ACT II® Movie Theater Butter
Microwave Popcorn was most welcome.  We appreciate comments and questions from
our consumers.

The reason fish would be listed as an allergen would be that some of
the flavors we use contain fish gelatin.

The only sure way to know whether or not a product contains a certain
ingredient is to check the carton ingredient list on the package.  From
time to time, products are reformulated and ingredients may change.

We appreciate your patronage and value our customers.  We hope you will
continue to enjoy our line of quality food.

Sincerely,
Rose
ConAgra Foods Consumer Affairs

So yea, there ya go…  As for what could be worse than fish being in popcorn?  Fish jello being in popcorn.

I’m speechless.

I totally forgot about the Delphi List.  I feel more than a little embarassed about that.

The folks at the Celiac Disease Online Support Group put a lot of work into maintaining a very thorough and up-to-date gluten-free product list.

Find it here.

I never got involved in the forum there, so I hadn’t really used the list much.  I did fine sticking to the Kraft/ConAgra/FritoLay/McCormick products and only rarely needed to verify anything else.

So anyway…

Go take a look.   I’ll be doing the same.

In Part 1, we discussed why we need to be so careful in a household where there are gluten-free and non-gluten-free people.

In Part 2, we discussed how to create a safe environment for your gluten-free food.

Today we’ll be discussing why you have to verify EVERY SINGLE THING to determine its gluten-free status and how to best do that.

The FDA is actually working on better labeling requirements for gluten-free food (as well as other food intolerances).  You may have already seen notes at the bottom of ingredient statements that say “Processed on the same equipment with wheat, soy and tree nuts.”  So they understand exactly how specific people with food intolerances have to be.

The easy part of being on the gluten-free diet is not eating the obvious things – bread, pizza, pasta, crackers, cookies, etc.   If that was all there was to it, it would be easy.

But hidden gluten is where the real work comes in.  The short version is that you MUST verify every single thing that goes into your mouth whether you think it might have gluten in it (or on it) or not.   Because a lot of it is what I call Stupid Gluten.    Just because there is no good reason a product should have to have gluten in it, yet there it is.

It’s not really stupid from the food manufacturer’s point of view though.  Wheat and barley (malt) are actually very good flavor enhancers.   Infuriating Gluten would probably be a better description, but I think Stupid Gluten just sounds better.

Some examples of Stupid Gluten (or sometimes just surprising) would be -

Red  Licorice ( most of which is actually made from a wheat based dough – who’da guessed?)

Pringles

Campbells Cream of … Soups

Tea (Bigelow and Traditional Medicinals for sure have a few with gluten)

Soy Sauce

Oatmeal (usually processed on the same equipment as wheat)

Almost all cereals, even rice krispies and corn flakes

Spice mixes

Imitation Crab

Rice Dream rice milk

Candy Corn

Nuts and seeds – sometimes are dusted with flour or as part of the seasoning mix

CHARCOAL (for pete’s sake)

Nathan’s Hot Dogs

And on, and on and on…  And we haven’t even gotten to arts and craft supplies, shampoos, cosmetics, health and beauty items, lotions, soaps, cleaning products, etc.

You also have to verify that gluten isn’t hidden behind ingredient statements such as “natural flavorings” or “modified food starch”.  Either could contain gluten.

So you can see, you have to verify EV.ER.Y.THING.   That list could easily be three times as long, but I think you get the point that it’s in the weirdest and stupidest places.

So Verify, Verify, Verify.  You also have to verify often.  Read the label every time you buy a product, even if you just bought it – ingredients change all the time.   For gluten-free product lists from manufacturers, verify every few months.

I have found that the easiest and most straight-forward way to verify a product is to go to that product’s website.   99.999% of products have a website nowadays.   If there is a search function, I just type in gluten.  If not, find the FAQ (frequently asked questions) section.  The FAQ is sometimes not obviously shown.  Look under customer service, or sometimes at the very bottom of the homepage.   Many times you can find the gluten question already addressed in the FAQ.

If not, you can either email the company or call them.   Most companies I’ve emailed have gotten back to me in a day or two.  I’m not a caller (yea, I’ve got issues – another topic for another day…), but I’ve heard that a very nice person on the other end who gets the question of the gluten status 20x a day looks up your product and lets you know if it’s gluten-free.

There are some companies that have a policy of full disclosure on all their products.  They won’t hide gluten behind phrases like “natural flavorings” or “modified food starch”.  These companies request that we read the full ingredient label each time we buy a product, but in turn they also promise to fully disclose any and all gluten-containing ingredients.  The companies I trust and have never had any problems with are:

Kraft  – You’d be shocked at how many food “brands” are actually Kraft companies.

McCormick – the spice and seasonings people

Frito Lay

ConAgra – Again, shocking how many food brands are ConAgra companies.

There are other companies with this policy, but with just these four it’s totally easy to go grocery shopping.  I just focus on Kraft products, to be honest.

All that being said, I’ve also had run ins with products that were verified gluten-free and a couple even LABELED gluten-free that made me sick.  (None of the above companies.)  It can take some trial and error to narrow down the culprit. When you’ve figured out what is making you sick, there may be several things going on -

- Cross contamination on the packaging of the product.  Maybe you got gluten on your hands outside the house, maybe the person stocking the shelves at the grocery store just came from stocking the flour aisle.

- Cross contamination within the product.  Just like in a home kitchen, in a food manufacturing plant, it’s easy for gluten to inadvertantly contaminate a batch of food.   It doesn’t happen often, but it can happen.

- Another food intolerance.  During the healing phase of celiac disease, other food intolerances can come and go.  Dairy is almost always a co-existing food intolerance for the first several months.  The reason for this is that the tips of the intestinal villi that are destroyed in the celiac process are where the enzymes for digesting dairy are located.  It can take up to a couple years for the villi to fully heal.  So it can take a while.  People with one food intolerance are also more likely to have other food intolerances.   Keep a food / symptoms diary and see if you can figure out what the pattern might be.

Don’t worry though, after a while, it all actually becomes second nature.   Just take one thing at a time.   I found that just knowing that Kraft, McCormick, Frito Lay and ConAgra would put gluten in plain English in the ingredient statement has fed me just fine up to now.   Probably 90% of what I buy is from those companies.

Makes the Atkins Diet look easy now, huh? 

I haven’t been blogging this week.  Been in a bit of a panic attack here.  (So this makes sense you’ll need to know that Hubby works in the IT department of a mortgage company. )

On our way to camping last weekend Hubby told me about The Big Mortgage Company Meltdown of 2007 that reached a peak the middle of that previous week.  Companies were going under left and right.  Big companies.

So last weekend was a lot of trying not to think about it even though I couldn’t help thinking about it.   And breathing.  Lots of deep breathing.   And s’mores.  Lots of deep breathing and s’mores.

I was so worried about what might happen that I just didn’t feel like talking about it or anything else.

The good news is that it looks like Hubby’s company is going to get through this.  So the initial panic is over.  Which is good because my Hubby kept saying that he was going to apply to be an Ice Road Trucker.  But he was kidding.  I think.

As relieved as I am, this whole situation was a real wakeup call for me.  I haven’t been a good of a steward of our money.  There it is.  I said it.  Financial planning does NOT come naturally to me.

Reviewing Tater Mitts on the other hand…  Totally natural.

When we were first married I pinched every penny I could because I had to.  I even bought a lot of our food at the dollar store.  Serious pinching.

As the years went by and Hubby’s career started paying more, I’ve been slacking off.  Badly.  These last few years I’ve been buying groceries at stores not known for the best prices.  Actually the one closest to us is known for really high prices.   But it also has a real-live gluten-free section.  With permanent signs and everything.

I’m ashamed to say that I stopped even looking at the sale ads.  At all.  I was just tossing whatever I wanted into the cart.  I would just stick my fingers in my ears when they gave me the total at the checkstand.

Just call me Cleopatra y’all…

So this week I have been busy getting my financial life under control.  I started a price book and found that yes, the grocery store I hate shopping at the most, because it’s always crowded (because of all the deals) and doesn’t have those cool car carts for the kids (passing the savings on to YOU) and lots of fed up aggravated moms (because of the lack of cool car carts in which to strap the darling children into) is, in fact, the Low Price Leader.  Great.

Well, at least my oldest is starting Kindergarten next week and I’ll only have to take one child grocery shopping now.  So it’s going to get easier.

I also found a great message board for frugal stuff.   It’s got archives-o-plenty and really nice people.  If anyone else is thinking about increasing their frugal awareness, go take a look – Frugal Village.   I’ve learned a lot there this week.

To be honest, if I just can get our grocery and Walmart/Target spending under control, we will be fine.  But, the people at Frugal Village are really inspiring.  There are people there who are frugal so that they can be debt-free by a certain goal date.  And not just credit card free, but car payment free or even mortgate free.

I actually sat down with the sale ads and took notes this week.  I even kicked myself for missing out on a Buy One, Get One Free sale on eggs.

But I might actually take advantage of it because you can freeze eggs.  Not in their shells though.  You have to freeze them in baggies.

I learned that on Frugal Village.

My gluten-free graham crackers are based on one of the free recipes at Top Secret Recipes .   Since it’s one of his free recipes, I’ll go ahead and post the whole recipe.  I wrote a post about some of the other Top Secret Recipes here.

If you’ve ever worked with gluten-free dough, you’ve discovered that most doughs aren’t as thick as gluteny doughs.  They can also be very difficult, if not impossible, to work with.  I created the rolling technique that I use here so I could have rolled cookies, such as cut-out Christmas cookies.  It ended up being a great way to store cookie dough.  I can just pull one out of the freezer when I need it.  It also keeps me or my kids from eating a whole batch right after it’s made.  So now, that’s what I do with all my rolled doughs.

To be honest, you could make this into a pretty workable dough by adding less water.  You could probably roll it out the regular way, but the method I’ve been using really makes it easy to create the square crackers without any waste or re-rolling of the dough.

Gluten-Free Graham Crackers

1/3 cup shortening

3/4 cup plus 1 tablespoon Sugar

3 tablespoons honey, warmed

1.5 teaspoons vanilla

3 cups Pamela’s Ultimate Baking and Pancake Mix

1/4 – 1/2 cup water

For the procedure of mixing the dough, I’m just going to link you directly to  Top Secret Recipe’s version of Nabisco Graham Crackers.

I only have a couple of notes in addition to the recipe as written for making the dough.  It turns out that graham flour is just a course grind of whole wheat flour.  Pamela’s Baking Mix is really good with duplicating the appearance and graham-y flavor because it actually has almond meal in it, which is where the dark brown flecks in the picture come from.  Pamela’s Baking Mix also has the salt, baking powder, baking soda AND the ever- important GF baking ingredient – xanthan gum.  When you get to the part where you put the water in to bring the dough together, go easy on the water.  I start out with a 1/4 cup and see how it goes from there.

To roll your dough out, you will need a gallon-sized zip-top bag, a one-cup measuring cup and a rolling pin.  In the pictures, I put a white towel down just so you can see the dough.  I actually did everything directly on the cutting board and not the towel.

1.  Fill a one cup measuring cup with dough.  Put it inside the ziplock bag and squash it down with your hands.   Do not seal the bag yet.

2.  Using the rolling pin and your hands, work the dough down into the bottom corners.

3.  Using the rolling pin and your hands, work the dough to fill the bag.  As you get to the top of the bag, get as much of the air bubbles out and seal the bag.   You want as flat and uniform an end-product as possible, so you’ll want to roll the sealed dough back and forth, side to side until you get it as flat and uniform as you can.

4.  At this point, I put the dough in the freezer.  I keep a cookie sheet in the freezer just for this so I can keep it completely flat.   When you take the dough out to make the graham crackers, you’ll need to work fast because it warms up pretty quickly.

5.  When you’re ready to make the graham crackers, open the bag and cut down the sides and across the bottom, removing the bag from the top surface of the dough.

6.   Flip the dough onto a greased cookie sheet, dough side down, and peel the rest of the bag off.  I usually have to work at this a bit to get the first edge off the bag so it stays in one piece.

7.   Now, take a pizza cutter and cut the dough into squares however big you’d like.  (Being a girl, I have to point out that the popeye arms are just a trick of the camera.  Man…  My forearm looks like a slice of pizza…!   Anyway…)

8.  Bake them in a preheated  300 F oven for about 5-7 minutes, or until they are beginning to turn a light brown.  At this point, you’ll need to take them out of the oven and space them apart.  The spacing is how you’ll get that crisp graham crackery-ness.  If you keep them all together, you’ll end up with the outer ones having a crisp edge, and the inner ones being soft.  If they aren’t cooperating with the spacing, put them back in the oven until they firm up more and try again.

9.  Return them to the 300 F oven until they’re a medium golden brown.   They will still be soft at this point, but will be crisp when cool.

Enjoy!

Shannon, over at Rocks in My Dryer is doing a parenting edition of Works for Me Wednesday.  There are always tons of people participating, so head over there and read the advice everyone else has for this week’s edition.

Here’s my advice:  Don’t be too hard on yourself.

Don’t worry if the mom you thought you were going to be is not the mom you find yourself being.   They’re probably not the children you were expecting either.

I had my first child at 31.  So, during my 20’s I was that friend who just knew I would never lose my temper with my darling children like some of my friends were doing.  When I’m a mom, I’ll never lose my patience.  Even if I do get frustrated, I will most certainly not yell.   I’ll never yell.   I’ll explain to them sweetly why they mustn’t do something.   And they will understand and look up at their mommy with adoring eyes while we cuddle and quietly read books.   Then we’ll do arts and crafts and make homemade seasonal decorations for the house.

Oh, the preciousness of it all…  It just breaks your heart doesn’t it?

Or maybe, depending on how long you’ve been a mom, you might be laughing your booty off by now.

Suffice it to say that motherhood has not been what I expected.

First of all, my kids do not sit, quietly or otherwise, unless they’re zoned out in front of the TV or sick.   They have always been the exact opposite of the quiet well-mannered cherubs of my imagination.   They are lively, active, loud, wild and wonderful kids.  They do not like to do arts or crafts, listen to books or stare adorably up at me while I cuddle them in my lap.   Because of all the sitting.  Which they do not do.   At all.

TV is my friend.  It’s the only way poor mommy gets a break.

Which brings me back to the mommy I thought I was going to be.  Like I said, I was never, and I mean never going to yell.  But now, I yell so loud and so often that I’m thinking about buying some of those double pane windows so the neighbors can’t hear my voice echoing into the hinterlands.

P.S.:  To see something that definitely did NOT work for me, take a look at my Tater Mitts post.  They soooo did not work for me.