You'll Crack Your Head Open!

I’ve had some problems in the writing department over the last few months.   I was working way too much during a really stressful time in my life (we lost a baby in February due to an ectopic pregnancy).  I got myself so burnt out writing into all hours of the night in order to meet deadlines that I kind of lost it intellectually.  I started making really bizarre mistakes in spelling, word use and punctuation.  Which has always been extremely easy for me.  Things like knowing which form of to/two/too to use and hyphens had me completely confused.  I also was working from a dry creative well, which will happen to anyone after writing the 126th refi article, or trying to make organizing your closet sound like a grand adventure for the 25th time.

It got to the point where it was taking me so long just to write one article that I had to stop working for a while.  I was hoping that taking a break would fix whatever circuit that had popped in my brain.  I didn’t write at all for a while.  Then I started writing for myself and blogging.

After a while, I found that I was doing okay.  I’m still not back to where I was, but doing much better.  I started looking into work options again and got back in touch with people I used to write for.  One of my friends/clients encouraged me to apply to a company that hires web writers.  This company hires a lot of writers, puts up the list of articles that they need done and the writers can each choose what articles they want to write, as well as how many.  Sounds like a perfect way to slowly get back in the game.

So I was all ready to apply to that company.  I was going to send them my resume on Monday.  Then yesterday I confused meat and meet when I was posting a message on a forum.  WTH?!???  When I was writing the word, it tripped me up and it took me a second to decide which spelling was the right one.  Then when I was reading back through after I finished writing it, I realized I’d chosen the wrong spelling.

Obviously, someone has cast a vicious curse upon my homonyms.

Yea…  Nice two meat you.

Whatever.

My 5yo daughter has been in Kindergarten for two and a half weeks.  It has not been easy.   I am stunned at how much pressure is put on these kids from the minute they start the first day.  Writing has to be in the right form.  My daughter knew how to write her name, but she wasn’t using the D’Nalian (sp?) alphabet, so it wasn’t right and they made her do it over.  It got to the point where she was refusing to even try.  And this was the third day of kindergarten.   When I had her practice before school on the fourth day, she burst into tears.   She was just so frustrated.

Now we’re hearing that she’s “inattentive”.   I don’t buy it.  I think they are putting too much pressure on her and now she’s withdrawing from it.

I was thinking that maybe it was just her.  Maybe she’s just not ready.  I had no idea kindergarten was going to be this academic.  I thought it started out easy and worked up to academic.  But not this.  This is how I remember first grade being.

So I started to do some looking online to see if any other parents were feeling like there was too much pressure on their child.  I was about ready to go toe-to-toe with those teachers.

Apparently, it’s not the teachers.  It’s a nationwide situation, and has been for a while.   Here is some interesting reading.

Kindergarten or Kindergrind? – 2005 – CBSNews

Pressure on Youngsters Starts in Kindergarten; Child Readiness an Issue - 2005 – Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.

Preserving Kindergarten in a High Stakes Environment - 1999 – Harvard Education Letter

The Misguided Trend of Delaying Kindergarten - 2004 – The Seattle Times

So in many kindergarten classrooms, you’ve got kids who are 5, kids who are 6 and kids who are still only 4 because they make the cutoff date, which is usually in December.

In my daughter’s class, there is one girl who can write and spell as well as I did in second grade.  She writes whole papers worth of stuff.   I saw two whole pages.  I thought that she was just smart.   As tall as she is though, I wonder if she might be closer to 6 than 5.

When we bought this house one of the reasons we bought it was that the local public elementary school was one of the highest rated in the state.

Highest rated.   As in ratings.  As in tests.  So this kindergarten really is exactly the type of kindergarten that these articles are about.

I don’t know about this…

Of course I want my daughter to do well in school, get a good education and go to college.  But not if this is the price.

I spent a lot of years thinking that I was going to homeschool.  I wanted my kids to be able to get ahead academically.  Most of the public schools where we grew up were mediocre at best.   The salutatorian of our high school class wasn’t able to handle college.  None of us got a good education, and very few went on to get a degree, although a few did.  There was a lot of “social advancement” and a lot of kids slipped through the cracks.

I wanted my kids to be able to come the end of their high school years with the choices that a good education brings you.   Whether they wanted to go straight into the job market or go to college, I wanted it to be their choice.

We’ve been lucky that in the places we’ve lived since we’ve been married, that the schools have had good reputations and good ratings.  So the idea of homeschool fell by the wayside.  According to all that we read, the schools were highly interested in academics.  Which was exactly what we wanted to hear.

I had no idea.

Now I’m wondering if I should start looking into homeschooling just so my daughter can get out of the pressure cooker.

I don’t know what I should do though.  Because if I do homeschooling, there’s no turning back.  If this is what kindergarten is now, I have no idea what first grade will be like.  I’m sure whatever homeschooling program I do would end up with her being “behind” as far as this school is concerned.

Part of me wonders if I should get some homeschool-type programs to do in addition to what they’re doing in kindergarten.  To get her up to speed with what they’re expecting of the kids.

But with all they’re expecting of them in a three hour day, my mommy instincts just want her to have fun and play.  I don’t want her to do more school.

I’m on the fence with a lot of stuff right now.  Do I go back to work and not be able to be available to my kids, especially my daughter right now?  Do I tighten up our budget even more and focus on getting her up to speed?

My husband had to repeat kindergarten.  His cousin’s son also had a hard time in Kindergarten and we just heard tonight that he isn’t doing well adjusting to a full day of first grade this year.

My husband says that maybe she’ll end up being held back too.  But if she’s really not ready, I’d rather pull her out sooner rather than later.  I don’t want to see her struggle and fail, struggle and fail, struggle and fail all year only to see her be told that she still didn’t do it well enough.

I never thought I’d be worried about all of this.  It’s not even September yet.

I bought some of those learn to read books a few days ago (for Ruby not me – haha).  I had a set several months ago but with moving, I can only find a few of them.  So I figured I’d get one of the other sets and start over.  Plus, that way I can see if she is actually reading and not just memorizing the story, ya know?

Well…

She KNOWS the letter sounds backwards and forwards.  If I ask her to sound out a word, she does it perfectly.  But when I have her go from sounding the word out to putting the sounds together quicker to form the word, she automatically looks at the picture and just starts throwing out guesses.  She doesn’t even connect that the letter sounds actually form the word.

So I looked online (like I do) and apparently for many years in our state they did a “whole language” approach where they encourage the kids to guess at the words or even skip the words to see if they can frickin’ frackin’ “figure out” what the word might be.  MIGHT.

Are you kidding me?????

The word is HAT.  HAT.  Not chapeau.  Not fedora.  HAT.  There are no other frickin ways to spell HAT.  Hhhh-Aaaa-Tttt.  Hat.  Don’t teach the kids to look at the picture and guess.  It’s HAT.  H. A. T.  Hat.

So tonight.  I was trying to teach Ruby and encourage her that everything is hard until you know how to do it.  We’re just going to take it one word at a time.   Don’t worry about it.  Mom’s here to help.

Now sound it out.  Hhhh…  Aaaaa….  Tttt…..  Good.  Oh my gosh!  That perfect.  You know all that?  Now put those sounds together.   What word does Hhh..Aaa..Ttt.. make?  (eyes go up to the picture)  Fan!  No sweetie.  Hh..Aa..Tt..  Sun!  No.  Let’s look again..  (defeated distraction – what’s that on your nose mommy?)  Let’s read this word.  (looking at her fingers)  It’s okay, we’re just learning.  You’ll get it.  Let’s sound it out.  You’re good at that.  Hh.Aa.Tt.  Hh..At..  At!!  No sweetie not at, but you’re very close.  (Squirming…)  At is a.t.  See, this part is at.  You’re almost there.  Now listen to the first sound.  What’s that first sound?  Hh..  Right.  Now the second part, a.t. says at.  So what do you think that says?  (Looks at picture – no, for the love of God NOOOO!!!!)  Sun!

GAH!!!!!!!!!!

And for this we sent her to preschool…????

I think I’m going to get some flashcards.

I remember my mom telling me about why she decided to teach me to read before I started school.  The public schools there had a similar teaching concept back in the 70’s.  The concept was that kids could read by remembering the shape of the word.  I don’t know if they did this when anyone else was going to school, but do you remember how you had to draw around the shape of a word?  Well, the concept was that if you could memorize the shape of the word, you could read the word.   My mom was SOOOO not buyin’ it.   At all.

My mom teaching me how to actually READ the words vs. my husband being taught to read with these concepts shows how well it works.  My husband is very smart, but doesn’t know (nor care about) the difference between the word “peasant” and the word “pheasant”.   I blame that on the schools we went to (we went to the same schools from 7th grade on).  The teachers always let the math-smart kids slide on everything else.  On the other hand, I can accurately spell (and say) the word choledochoduodenoscopy.  And sphygmomanometer.  And psychiatry.  And the different spellings and usages of there, their and they’re.

I swear if kindergarten does this same “guessing” B.S.  I’m going to be so upset.  I already have a husband who is grammar and spelling illiterate.  I’m not going to look the other way and end up with a child who spells “fan” H-A-T.

I’m sure they’re gonna love me at kindergarten  —   What do you mean they’re supposed to guess at what H-A-T spells?  Sun is NOT a good guess.  I don’t care if you’re trying to build up her self esteem.  Are you hippies or something?   You’re using the wrong usage of their.  It should be there.  As in – “Is there wheat in that fingerpaint?”

sigh…

whimper…

Gah…!!