You'll Crack Your Head Open!

I called!!!  I totally did it.  It took me an hour to prepare to do it because I have a process for making phone calls.  It works really well for me, and it’s pretty cool, if I don’t say so myself.

Knowing how I am, I know that I can’t just throw caution to the wind and pick the phone up.  Because when I’m nervous and try to talk on the phone, chaos ensues.  I talk too fast.  I stutter and stammer.  My voice gets pitchy.  Worst of all I try to over explain and just end up talking way too much.   If the person I’m talking to asks a question I’m not prepared for it just gets so (SO) much worse.

I have to know exactly what it is that I want to say.  I also have to brainstorm what the other person might say.  And my replies.

I discovered this process when I worked the phones at a catalog company for five years.  When you’re in training, they give you scripts to work with.  They write down exactly what to say.  They also write down what the customer will probably say and exactly how to respond.  They also throw in common customer problems and questions and give you exactly what to say in those instances.  Once you’ve worked there for a while, you don’t need the scripts at all anymore.   You can wing it. Because you’re used to it and have answered just about every question the customers can throw at you.  But boy do you need the scripts those first few weeks.

So now when I need to make a phone call and I’m nervous about it I write myself a script.  That’s after I avoid it, try emailing instead, google, talk myself out of needing the information, etc.

Here’s the script I wrote for myself last night:

Hello. Can I speak to a manager?

Why do you need to speak to a manager? I’m coming in for dinner with my family tonight and I have some dietary restrictions. I need to talk to the manager so I can find out if you can accommodate me.

This is the manager. How can I help you?

Hi. I’m coming in for dinner tonight with my family. I have some dietary restrictions that I need to know if you can accommodate (work with).

I’m on a gluten-free diet. Are you familiar with that?

I have a medical condition called celiac disease and have to be on a gluten-free diet. Which means I can’t eat anything made with wheat or flour. So no flour tortillas, no meats dusted with flour, no seasoning blends with wheat in them, no marinades with soy sauce.

I also need to make sure that the cookware, utensils and work surfaces used to prepare my food doesn’t have any wheat on it. Just the small amount that would come from that is enough to make me ill.

I’ve been looking at your menu online and I was hoping that you can help me choose something that would be safe for me to eat. I see a couple of things that I’m interested in that I think might work. I just have to ask some questions about them. I will also probably need for you to look at some ingredient lists for me.

Do you have time to work with me over the phone, or should I ask to speak with you when I get there this evening?

Pretty snazzy huh?

Okay, now I’ve got my script.  It’s 3:45 in the afternoon, so it’s the perfect time to call.  Lunch is WAY over and even early dinner hasn’t begun.  I know that most likely the manager is going to be unrushed and able to help me.  If the manager is a snot, it’s got to be a personality issue and I’d be much better off eating before I leave than risking it.

I send my kids upstairs to play.  Because I need to be able to concentrate.  Then I pace around.  I may have eaten a K-Toos (gluten-free oreo) or four.  Then I prayed.  Oh yes I did!  I prayed that I would be able to communicate clearly and concisely.  I prayed that the manager would be helpful and unrushed.  I prayed that we would be able to understand each other clearly.

So I make the call.  The manager asked me to explain a bit.  Then she said that she knew someone in high school who had to avoid gluten.  So she starts telling me that I couldn’t eat the chips and I shouldn’t get anything fried because they fry everything in the same oil as the things made with flour tortillas.  So she knew exactly what I was talking about.  I didn’t have to explain cross contamination or anything.  There wasn’t much that I had to choose from because their marinades all have soy sauce in them.  I  pretty much had the choice between Veggie Fajitas and Cheese Enchiladas.  But that was totally fine with me.  I was going to be able to sit down and eat like everyone else.  YAY!!!!

When I got there I gave them my Triumph Dining Card for Mexican Restaurants.   She took it back to the kitchen and had the kitchen staff look it over.  Then she came back and told me that the staff was ready to make whatever I decided on.  They were going to wash their hands before they prepared my food, make sure to use clean cookware, etc.   It was awesome.

I got the Veggie Fajitas.  After all of the emotional roller coastering, I didn’t trust my stomach with that much dairy if I got the Cheese Enchiladas.  Especially after the ginormous margarita they serve there.

It was a really great night.  I was able to work through something that has always been very difficult for me.  I was able to eat food that I didn’t have to cook.  I was able to sit and enjoy a meal with my family without worrying.  AND I didn’t feel like a great big dork or that I was irritating anyone or putting anyone out of their way.

I was really proud of myself.  Now I just need to do this for a restaurant near my house.

We’ve got family in town.  My SIL is visting with her kids and her mom.   They’re here for a week and we’ve been having a lot of fun.  We took the kids to the zoo yesterday (which will be another post).  We’re going to the lake on Saturday.

We’ve been planning on doing a Girls’ Night Out.  At first we were thinking of doing pedicures, but that’s what we did last time.  Then we were going to go somewhere with live jazz or something, but there’s nothing close that’s not a little too wild and rowdy for us.  Now we’ve decided to just do dinner and hang out.

I’ve been feeling brave, and feeling like I need to branch out from the safe gluten-free menu restaurants like Outback, PF Chang’s and Spaghetti Factory.  I’ve been feeling like I need to push myself and actually TALK to a restaurant and see if they can or will meet my gluten-free needs.

So I told them not to worry about me.  Just pick a restaurant and I will call them.  If they can accommodate my diet I’ll eat there.  If not I’ll eat before I leave.  No big deal.   So they picked a mexican restaurant.  Which I hear from the GF world is one of the easier types of restaurants that can do GF.

But I know the whole “eat before I  leave” thing is a total chicken thing for me to do.  So I’m going to call.  I  think.  We’ll see.

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate talking on the phone?  Or asking for anything that requires people to go out of their way?  Or drawing possible negative attention to myself?  Or telling people something that sounds like BS and expecting them to believe me?

Didn’t think so.  It’s just a partial list of my issues.  But they all add up to the fact that just making this phone call and asking someone I’ve never met to make something gluten-free for me is giving me a teeny tiny bit of panic.

But it’s good for me.  I need to trust that any restaurant will be as helpful as they can.  They may not actually be able to help, but I’m sure they will if they can.

So I’m definitely going to call.

Maybe.

Did I mention that when I went to the store yesterday I  bought all the stuff I need for GF Fajitas?  Because that’s what I would order if I could.  And I might be able to.  I just have to have a conversation with the restaurant manager.

I’m feeling a little nauseous.

But I’m also thinking that eating food that I didn’t have to prepare myself sounds really good.  And since I’m getting myself all stressed out about calling, it sounds like I’m going to need a margarita.

For medicinal purposes.